Two days in a life of almost 90 years...

Dear...

This morning I received a message that my 89 year old dad had to undergo an emergency operation. They operated on him for nearly four hours and placed two bypasses. He is now in intensive care and has to stay there for the next 48 hours. The doctors said if he will make it through these two days he has a good chance. Two days in a life of almost 90 years, that sounds like almost nothing. Two days is all we can think of right now, hoping and praying that dad is going to be okay.

A few days ago I wrote that you can never be fully prepared for life opportunities, that you have to go out of your comfort zone and that you should take them as they come. My post of yesterday was about the power of being thankful.

Today, we are not ready to let my dad go, we probably never will be, but he had a life to be proud of so we can accept it if his time has come. We are grateful for the life we had with him and for sure will be thankful if we'll get a few years more.

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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

The power of being thankful

Dear...

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I'm not a born American citizen but I love this holiday. It is not only about remembering the first pilgrims, it is about being thankful for what you have. I understand that you could be in a challenging situation in which it is may be hard to feel thankful for anything, but especially in those situations its spirit lifting to find something to hold on to.

A few years ago I went through one of my most challenging periods in my life. Being grateful was definitely not on top of my mind at the time. It was easier to be angry and to blame. I was worried and had fear for what the future would bring me and I suppressed grief and unbelief of the situation I was in.

I'm not saying that I used careful processed thoughts to find things in my life to be still thankful for, but the fact is I did and know now that it gave me strength to accept and change my circumstances.

On hindsight  I used a simple 5 steps process:

1. I made a list for the things I still could be thankful for (material and non material).
2. I made a habit finding each day at least one thing to be grateful for.
3. I focused on the things I could change and accepted the things I couldn't (at least not then).
4. I went over this list every night before going to bed.
5. I shared both griefs and gratefulness with someone I fully trusted. 

Now this sounds maybe too simple and even scilly, but I'm inviting you to try it if you are in a 'challenging' period yourself. 

Mary J. Lore writes in her book 'Managing thoughts and the power of thankfulness':

"Thankfulness is one of the quickest and most powerful ways to create a change in our circumstances and move us in a direction that serves our purpose. Being thankful raises individuals to a new level of consciousness. It gives us access to our highest awareness and our ability to see the myriad of possibilities, discover what we truly want, and create and realize a vision for the future."

I can only testify that in my darkest period of life, I found purpose and strength by being grateful for what I have. Does that mean I never feel pain anger or grief anymore? Of course it doesn't, but I can give these emotions a place now and am not dragged down by them. I found that there is great power in being thankful and I hope you can find that too when you need it.

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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Yes and No two so simple words...

Dear...

A few weeks ago I wrote something about saying NO and what a challenge it was for me in some situations. Especially to kids its difficult to say no, I have two children and when they look at me with those big shinny eyes, I know I fight a lost case... You wonder, do they have a special school where they teach them that stuff? Anyhow, since the reply "ask your mother" didn't work either, I had to learn how to say no to my kids too, even if I have to disappoint them once in a while. The fear to disappoint someone is probably the biggest reason why people are afraid to say no.

Obviously if you can't say no, you say YES, but it is unfortunately not a yes that you really mean. Because of this 'false' yes you might not only buy things that you don't need, but you might also end up making appointments or promises you didn't want to make. Because of this it's likely that you later make excuses to cancel earlier made commitments and the worst thing ... now you really did disappoint someone, the one thing that you tried to prevent by not saying NO.

Bottom line, people rather hear an honest NO than a false YES.

Paulo Coelho said it so well: "if you must say yes say it with an open heart, if you say no say it without fear".

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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Feeling comfortable with being uncomfortable...

Dear...

Ask a relatively big group of people: 'Is any opportunity without risks worthwhile pursuing?' and you probably can divide this group in two sub groups by their reactions and answers.

One sub group is more risk averse and would like to know what kind of risks we are talking about, their fear of failing is typically greater than the excitement of a possible win, life has made them more cautious and they have a tendency to take make safe choices.
The people in the other group are more risk takers and show more interest in what the possible winnings could be and their excitement of succeeding is typically bigger than their angst to fail. This last group has learned that the rewards are big when the risks are big and they typically see failure as just another attempt to get closer to success.

Most great opportunities, if not all, force us to leave our comfort zones. It is very likely that none of the people in either of the mentioned groups feel 100% ready for an important life opportunity. But when it comes to take these opportunities then: risk averse people need to have the feeling that they are prepared in all details before they come into action; risk takers on the other hand feel more comfortable with being uncomfortable and therefore, they step easier out of their comfort zone. Risk takers know that growth and success are just outside their comfort zone.

It perhaps does not surprise you that successful people are more found in the risk takers group.  The reason why someone belongs more in one group than the other is often related with the personal experiences they went through.  Successful people see their experiences less as failures and more as learnings.

Thomas Edison had more than 2000 'failures' before he finally succeeded inventing the lightbulb. When asked if he was ever discouraged by these failures, he answered: "No, I just had a 2000 step process to make the first lightbulb". John F. Kennedy said: “Nothing worthwhile has ever been accomplished with a guarantee of success.”

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Blessings in disguise, a Zen story...

Dear...

Maybe,

Once upon the time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically...
“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed...
“Maybe,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune...
“Maybe,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out...
“Maybe,” said the farmer.


Oscar Wilde said: "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Can we ever see the whole picture...?

Dear...

If you look at a picture with a magnifying glass you will see that a picture is constructed out of many pixels. Each pixel is just a dot of color and may seem meaningless by itself but several pixels put together can create a shape and many more can create a picture. So even a little detail like a pixel is significant to create the whole.

Science is trying to find the smallest particle in the universe. After they found the cell, they found the atom and from the atom they went on to quarks. I'm not a scientist but the point is that we discover details in details. Scientist hope that by understanding the littlest particle we can solve big questions like how the universe came into existence.

Having an understanding of individual components is a good thing, but you cannot only analyze the details and look at the individual pixels. You also have to connect the dots, look at the whole picture and synthesize. But as science probably will never know if it truly found the 'smallest' detail, can we ever know if we truly look at the 'biggest' picture.

The described analogies are good learning and study principles. We should never assume that we know all the details and we should never assume that we fully comprehend the bigger picture. This will not only stimulate us to find out and research more, but it will also keep us humble and cause us to jump to conclusions too quickly.

One day I asked my martial artist master how much is there still left for me to learn? He answered me by saying: "...try to see knowledge as a big curtain. Your knowledge and skills make you able to lift that curtain up and allow you to see partly behind it. I as your master am able to lift the curtain up a little more and see a little more behind it, but the thing is we both don't know how big that curtain is."

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

From conscious movement to unconscious movement...

Dear...

Gary Zukav, a renown author says, "Every intention sets energy into motion whether you are conscious of it or not".

For this blog, please pay attention to the differences and relationships between conscious and unconscious movements versus controllable and uncontrollable movements.

There is a constant process of motions in our bodies such as breathing, bloodstream, lymph system etcetera. The majority of motions in our body are beyond most people's ability to control. Although we can bring these movements to a level of consciousness, most of us can only control them to some extent, if at all.

There is little or no reason to bring these uncontrollable motions to our consciousness, but there is rationale in bringing controllable movements from our consciousness to unconsciousness.
Learning to control a movement is a conscious process. After we master the movement, we can bring it into our unconsciousness. A simple example is harnessing one's typing skills. First we teach our fingers where each letter and character is located on the key board.  Once we master this step, our fingers can type with  the speed of our thoughts. Being conscious of every individual movement would only slow down the motions of our fingers. Ergo by bringing 'learned and therefore controlled movements' to our unconsciousness, we can speed up the execution of these individual movements tremendously, especially when performed in succession.

This principle is used a lot by dancers of all disciplines. A dancer constantly practices movements with a conscious mind, then allowing the movements to sink into their unconscious mind. The dancer can now execute endless and complex combinations of individual motions with remarkable speed.  There is however a big caveat here. The higher the quality the dancer practices these individual movements, the higher the caliber of the movements will be when performed in a large sequences.  These sequences are known as dancing.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD


One of the strategies that helps dancers successfully imprint movements in their mind and muscular system is called 'marking'.  In one of my later blogs I will write more about it. If you want to read about it already you can look up the following article http://pss.sagehub.com/content/24/9/1732 

There is power in being discontent

Dear...

There is power in being discontent. Yes, you read this correctly I said there is power in being discontent. You might wonder...isn't he always talking and writing about being positive? Sure I am, in fact yesterday's post was all about being positive, but despite that,  I say today there is power in being discontent.

If you are in a situation you don't like and you are so deeply discontent with it that you want to scream, 'No more!', 'I can't take it!', then you have tapped into something very empowering. Ask people who made a sudden change in their life 'why?' and you will often hear, that they just couldn't take it anymore. It could have been a job they were in, a relationship they had and in some instances even a country they lived in. Their situations made them feel so miserable that they had to change it, no matter how drastic. They quit their job, broke the relationship and sometimes even left the country from one day to another.

Is it wise to let situations get so out of hand that only drastic measurements can solve it? No of course it isn't and it's much wiser to prevent all this drama. But if your circumstances are such that preventing them is all water on the bridge and you feel you can't go on like this anymore, you found a really big motivator to change.

A motivation born out of discontent is one of the best stimuli to change. I sincerely hope that your status quo isn't of any nature close to what I've described above, but if it is, use your discontent then as a motivator to change and change your negative situation into a positive one.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

New Year's Resolution II: The Power of Positive thinking

Dear...

A few days ago, I posted 'New Year's Resolutions number I' and I promised then to give you some tips how to make you more successful in achieving your 2014 resolutions.
First of all I would like for you to take some time to think about what your New Year's resolutions for next year could be. Give it some real good thoughts, take a few days for it if you like. Once you settle for one or two, write them down in draft.  Over the next few posts on this topic I will give you a number of guidelines of what the criteria are for an achievable resolution.

First, it needs to be your resolution, not someone else's, no matter how good the intention of that person is. So for example, your love ones tell you that you should exercise more and you don't really feel that you should then don't make it your resolution.
Second make it a positive resolution. So, instead of saying I want to quit smoking, write down the reasons why you want to quit smoking. For instance say, I want to lead a more healthy life and give a good example to my kids. Another example, instead of saying I want to go on a diet, say something like I want to be very fit and climb every stair with ease.  Now I'm sure you can come up with better formulated resolutions than I did here, but I hope you get my point about writing it positive. Avoid negative words, like don't and no; and avoid words with a negative connotation for you, may be words like diet or work-out.

Let's start with these two guidelines and I'll follow up with some more in my later posts. So, in summary: make sure your resolution is yours and make it very positive with a focus on the reason and/or the result you're after.

There is power in positive thinking. David O.McKay said: "Your thoughts are the architects of your destiny", therefore a positive mind creates positive outcomes.
With that, get a pen and paper and start drafting your resolutions and I'll come back on this topics in a few days from now.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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http://www.pinterest.com/jeandorff/inspiration/

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Social media and the influence of achieving our goals

Dear...

The way we communicate and socialize has significantly changed as a result of new technology. We are now chatting on Facebook with people we have never met and we share pictures of ourselves with strangers on Instagram.

A person who uses internet as a means of leisure spends at least 100 minutes per day on the internet and that is a really conservative estimate. That doesn't sound like a lot,  but total it out over a whole year and you would sit for 25 days straight behind your computer. That is almost a month per year! Now the real question here is: what did we do in the past with all those days we spend now on the internet? 

Here is some data: 

• Almost half of the time we spend on the internet has a negative influence on our productivity, either directly (27% of  the time is coming from work) or indirectly (22% is coming from  sleep, education and thinking)
• One third of the time we spend on the internet has a negative influence on normal social activities (offline), including travel, going to parties and do other household stuff
• Fortunately we also watch less "traditional television" although this one is hard to measure, perhaps we traded TV in for YouTube and Vimeo. 

Please don't misunderstand me I think the internet and social media are great inventions. I use FB both professional and socially. Now here is where it gets serious.  It seems that one of the growing reasons why we don't achieve what we want to achieve is because of 'time leakage' to social media. There is a time for everything and if you are truly goal oriented, set limits for yourself when and how often you look at social media. If you study, turn it off completely; if you sleep, turn it off completely; if you socialize (offline), turn it off completely; if you drive a car, turn it off completely; ... I guess you get it by now. BTW, if you think you are not that bad... just ask around or think about what the first thing is you do when you wake up or the last thing  you do before you go to bed.... I rest my case. 

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

A story of talent and passion

Dear...

Talent means you have a natural ability to do something and passion means a strong and barely controllable emotion. So when passion meets talent, it's likely that success will follow and that great things can happen. However, this doesn't necessarily mean that you need to have talent for the things you are passionate about, or that you can only be successful when you have a talent for it. If you have less talent, don't let it stop or discourage you to go after what you want. Talent accounts only for a small percentage to achieve something, the bigger part needs to come from focus, dedication and hard work. The last three can only be reached with passion.

Success should be measured by more than 'being the best in something'. If these were the only criteria of being successful, a lot of passionate people would immediately stop doing what they are passionate about. We can all strive to be a winner, but we will not all be one. I must admit that I walked in that trap and for a while I could only find joy in something when I was the best or at least really good at it. Later in life, I learned to find joy in the process of doing things, instead of making my joy dependent of the results I was after. While as a performance coach I strive to get the best out of people or teams, I also want to make sure that the love for doing things is not killed by the pursuit of success. In the end it is as Steve Job said: "The only way to do great work is to love what you do".

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

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Successful people do what less successful people don't like to do...

Dear...

Recently someone asked me, how do you keep yourself motivated to go to the gym consistently. This person had clearly not developed a habit of regular exercising yet. Some people say if you do something for 21 days, you have created a new habit. It is unfortunately not as simple as that. If it was, everyone would be thin and we all would be super fit. To create a new habit and make sure it sticks, you have to do this deliberately. You have to break down an old habit and replace it with a better one.

First, you need to understand why you want to break the old habit. Just doing exercises because it is trendy won't hold for long. You need to find some good personal motivators. Getting a better looking body could be a good motivator. Having experienced that you can't keep up with your kids anymore when they are playing in the park, might be an even stronger motivator.

There is no new habit that you like to do the first time you do it. Bob Proctor in his 'Freedom series' describes it as follows: "successful people make a habit of doing things that less successful people don't like to do". This sounds maybe a little harsh but it is absolutely true. Unsuccessful people are often  led by things they like to do, successful people on the other hand, are driven by the results they are after and are willing to do things that they (at first) don't like to do.

So in short, for you to keep going consistently and frequently to the gym, you have to have a clear objective in mind, be proud of every achievement you make, keep reciting your personal motivators and don't give up. If you do that, you will find yourself one day, going to the gym because you want to... not because you have to.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

New Years Resolutions I.

Dear...

You might think, New Years Resolutions, isn't that a little early? Maybe you are right it's not even Thanksgiving yet. But then again if you know that people who succeed with just about anything, always work with a well defined plan, you might want to reconsider. In the case of New Years Resolutions only 8% of the people who make resolutions succeed to achieve them. I bet you these are the same people who know how to plan their goals before they go after them. So over the course of the coming weeks I would like to offer some tips and tricks how you can succeed with any plan you make and since it is so close to New Year, why not taking 'how to achieve  New Years Resolutions' as an example.

Let me start you of with some hard facts first:

• About 50% of us make new years resolutions every year.
• Half of us never succeeds and fails to achieve their resolution each year. 
• Only 8% actually achieve their resolution.

What are the most made resolutions each year

• Weight loss
• Achieve a personal goal (in business, sport, relationship)
• Relationship (fall in love, improve etc) 
• Be more healthy, fitness more (quit smoking)
• Getting organized (clean, plan) 
• Financial (spend Less, save More)
• Spend more time with family
• Enjoy life to the fullest

Now depending where you're from, the order of these resolutions might change, but the number one through 4 are pretty solid everywhere. 

So follow my blogs or drop me an email if you want to get serious about achieving your 2014 resolution or any other goal you want to achieve.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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http://www.pinterest.com/jeandorff/inspiration/

"Be inspired and you shall inspired." ~JD

The source for the data used in this blog is: University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Pshychology. Published 12/13/12.

Tidy room tidy mind

Dear...

One day a businessman asked a wise-man: dear wise-man my life is so stressed and I have every day so many things to do, I wish there were 48 hours in one day. Is there anything you can advise me to do? The wise-man said yes, I want you to clean up your room and start and end your day with 10 minutes of meditation. The businessman answered... wise-man you must not have understand me, I'm too busy to do all that.

Now I'm sure you see the irony in the reply of this businessman. The man is too busy to get rest and the only way to get rest is actually to take rest. The other advice the wise-man gave is also intriguing. He advised the businessman to clean up his room. The wise-man knew that most people with too much stuff on their mind, also have too much stuff in their room and on their desk. The wise-man wanted for the business man to have a peaceful place in the physical (his room) and in the non-physical (his mind).

If you feel you have a "cluttered mind" then start with un-cluttering your surrounding, by literally tidying your room and desk. I can assure you, this alone will have an easing effect already, but please don't stop there. Do also the following:
- Sit in your tidy room, and meditate for 10 minutes in the morning and in the evening.
- Read a book to get some inspiration for another 10 minutes.
- Take some time to be physical active, stretching your body can be a good start.
Make a habit out of these 3 things, do them twice a day and I promise, your world will soon look entirely different and you start feeling less stressed and more energized in a few weeks. After all a tidy room is tidy mind.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire."

Get unstuck after a good competition

Dear..

Two days ago I wrote: "7 things to get unstuck when you have a disappointing competition".
There are also some people who need motivation after they do well. Some suddenly feel that they have to live up to certain expectations, others just need to get their feet back on the ground and some of us simply can't accept that they beat competition and had a great performance.

Hence the following tips are more for those who get stuck after good results:

1. ENJOY THE MOMENT: Everything is a feeling of the moment, even winning, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to enjoy it. Enjoy, celebrate and share it. 
2. GO ON: Sometimes, winners get in a flow so continue your streak if you can.
3. BE A GOOD WINNER: A good winner is the opposite of a sore loser. Be respectful to your fellow competitors, sometimes you just won by a hair difference. My master always said if you win, you might not have encountered your best competitor yet ... This always kept me sharp and humble.
4. WIND DOWN: Its good to get pumped up after winning but take time to wind down and restore your body and mind.
5. LEARN: See everything as learning. Good results are a matter of perspective and don't necessarily mean everything was excellent. Reflect with an open mind, enjoy your accomplishments, but get also some constructive feedback. Learn to understand what you did well, learn what you can do better... and then improve both.
6. SAY THANK YOU: Your achievements stand never on their own, of course you've put in a lot yourself, but there are others in your team too, don't ever forget that they are part of your success . 
7. TAKE ACTION: Get moving again... preparing for your next 'event' is the best way to get your feet back on the ground. Keep going. Know that results will always be a mix of things you can and things you can't control. Keep focussing on the ones you can control... and keep enjoying the journey. 

jeandorff@googlemail.com
facebook.com/jean.dorff
http://www.pinterest.com/jeandorff/inspiration/

"Be inspired and you shall inspire". ~JD

Preparing for the holidays

Dear...

I love this time of the year, the start of the holiday season. We kick it off right after Halloween. Houses are getting decorated and in the malls you start hearing holiday music. Santa is doing his appearance in the TV commercials and I can't wait to see White Christmas again. Some people call it all cheap sentiment, but I simply love it all. The presents, the music, the decorations, the christmas story, the family connection and then of course the food. First we have Thanksgiving and then Christmas and New Year. I can already see the beautiful set tables and almost taste the copious meals that we are going to prepare and serve. It's of course all about the sharing but just think about the roasted turkeys, the honey glazed hams, the casseroles, the mashed potatoes, the cranberry sauce and then of course the pies: pecan pies, sweet potato pies, apple pies. The deliciousness is parading for almost two months in front of us.
We spend a lot of time thinking what to eat between Thanksgiving and New Year... Hummm now that I think about it, may be we should be more concerned about what we eat between New Year and Thanksgiving.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Get unstuck after a bad competition

Dear...

We all have been 'stuck' after we got some bad results, whether this was at work, college or a competition. Negative emotions and feelings can be overwhelming. Here are some tips to get 'unstuck'.

1. KNOW IT WILL PASS: Everything is a feeling of the moment, know there is nothing that doesn't change and trust that also a negative emotion will pass.
2. STOP: Look the truth in its face and stop! Losing is sometimes nothing more than your brain and your ego running around to escape bad feelings. Just stop for a moment and end the panicked running. 
3. IT IS WHAT IT IS: Sometimes you just have to accept that sh... happens. Toughen up, if you can't take the fall don't bother to get up.
4. ENERGIZE: Do what energizes you: listen to music, run around the block, read, do whatever works for you.
5. LEARN: See everything as learning. Bad results are a matter of perspective. A bad result doesn't necessarily mean everything was bad. Reflect with an open mind, remind yourself of your accomplishments and get some constructive feedback. Failure ceases to exist if you focus on the learning.
6. SAY THANK YOU: Be grateful for what you have and what you achieved instead of what you don't have and didn't achieve. 
7. TAKE ACTION: Get moving again... preparing for your next 'event' is the best way to get unstuck. Take action. Know that results will always be a mix of things you can and things you can't control. Focus only on the ones you can control. And don't forget to enjoy the journey. 

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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http://www.pinterest.com/jeandorff/inspiration/

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Life is a journey...

Dear...

From when I was seven years old, my parents took us every year to Spain for our summer vacations. Each year we made an 800 to 1000 miles trip from the Netherlands where I grew up to the land of paella and flamingo. Now you have the think about this... the roads were not so nice as they are now... we had no GPS... we had to travel through two different countries to get in Spain... we didn't speak any of the languages of the countries we went to; and there was very little information about the route to take or our journey's end; the trip in the car took us three nights and days. This was a big adventure every year.
My dad always said: our vacation starts the moment we close the door behind us and get in the car.  We never rushed during our travel to our destinations and when we stopped to rest, we took our time to look around, play, eat and explore. Sitting on the back seat of our car I enjoyed when we drove through endless new sceneries: mountains, lakes, farm land, cities, villages. We got to eat all these new foods from the places we went through and we met people from all over Europe.

This was way before I knew about the 19th century essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson and his famous quote: "Life is a journey not a destination". I learned from our summer vacations how much truth there is in this saying. It was all because my parents made sure that the journey was at least as enjoyable as our destination.

Life is exactly like that... enjoy every mile on the way to your destiny... and if you take a wrong turn do what my dad always said: enjoy the view.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Attitude of gratitude

Dear...

A few days ago I wrote about Typhoon Haiyan and the Philippines. The casualty estimates of a few hundreds were hugely understated. As we know now the number of fatalities goes probably over the ten thousands and the number of people who lost their houses and possessions will most likely exceed a million, almost incomprehensible numbers. In a few hours the life of so many people have changed in a way that I cannot fathom. If their life or house were not shattered then at least the way they had envisioned their future is. I'm sure amidst those people some must have had the same kind of dreams you or I have. It is for sure that it will take a long time before the victims of Haiyan will return to a normal life.

So the post of today has no other meaning than asking you all to support the people of the Philippines in any way you can or want and to keep them in your prayers and thoughts. (see this FB page: https://www.facebook.com/haiyantacloban)
I for one learned from this events to have more gratitude for what I have and to not take life for granted.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

How to get more lucky

Dear....

Did you ever do a test at school without doing your homework, in the hope that you could wing it? I have to admit I did and to be completely honest more than once. There were a few times I got away with it, but luckily for me I flunked most of the tests I didn't prepare well for. Yes, you hear me well I said luckily. Of course that's not how I felt about it at the time, then I only cared about grades and didn't care so much about the correlation between preparation and succeeding or failing.
Later I learned that people with sustained success, prepared for success; although others would often call this luck.
Benjamin Franklin said: "by failing to prepare you are preparing to fail".
When you read this you probably think duh, that's so obvious. It is indeed obvious but that doesn't make it less true, does it?
Tony Robbins said: "the meeting of opportunity with preparation generates an offspring called luck".
Yes, preparations will allow you to successfully seize opportunities, but at the same time when you start preparing, opportunities will come your way as well. So like a blacksmith forge steel you can forge your luck. For steel to be forged, you have to have the right tools and heat the steel up to above 2000 degrees fahrenheit. Forging steel looks like brute force but if you see how a Japanese sword master forges a samurai sword, you know it is a delicate process which can only be achieved with the right knowledge, skills, tools and preparation. The master knows exactly how and when to hit the steel. In the same way, your luck can be forged: know what you are aiming for, prepare well for the results you want and then boldly, without being afraid of the heat, seize the opportunity when it occurs.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
facebook.com/jean.dorff

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

When she came home she said: I'm in love with David.

Dear....

One day my partner in life came home from a trip to Italy she told me that she fell in love with a guy called David, she was quick to add that David was a statue made by Michelangelo.  When a few weeks later Bob Proctor in one of his audio lessons also raved about  this statue of David I had to see myself what so special was about this statue. Not long after, I had an opportunity to go to 'The Gallery of the Accedemia di Bella Arti' in Florence where David stands. He is 17 foot tall and astonishing ... he breaths majesty, perfection, nobility, power, dignity, all that and more in one sculpture. Truly if you see David you will fall in love with him, as my partner did and as I did.

There is more behind the story of the statue of David. After three failed attempts by renown sculptors to carve something out of this huge rock, it was 25 year old Michelangelo who in the year 1501 used his chisel and hammer to sculpture this beautiful piece of marvel.
But the real wonder for me lies in the fact that Michelangelo saw the beauty of David even before he started carving. He could reveal this beauty because he went on where others failed and because he looked beyond the abused surface of this slab of marble.

The lesson we can learn here is very clear: Instead of judging others and ourselves from the outside we should be like Michelangelo and see the beauty hidden inside each of us.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
facebook.com/jean.dorff

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Give it all you got!

Dear...

Possibly the strongest storm ever to hit land raged over the Philippines yesterday. The devastation caused by typhoon Haiyan is enormous, about a million people had to take shelter and although the number of casualties is still unknown, it is said to go easily in the hundreds. My heart goes out to the people of Philippines, especially to the families in the hit areas.

A destructive event like this  reminds me how fragile life is and that we should never take life for granted, it's a reminder to feel blessed for the things we have and to be less focussed on what we don't have. Perhaps the best way to honor the people who's life has ended so suddenly is to turn something negative in something positive by living our lives to the fullest and by having an appreciation for the opportunities presented to us.
So let us do the things we do today with full intent and without holding back, let us not be afraid to take the opportunities in front of us, let us give it all we got, but most of all let us do everything with an attitude of gratitude.

Please keep the victims of  typhoon Haiyan in your thoughts and prayers.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
facebook.com/jean.dorff

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD




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The rich man who wanted to change the fisher boy

Dear...

A very rich man anchored his luxurious yacht close to the shore of a tropical island in the Caribbean.

The man was a fervent fisher so the next day he went on deck with his fishing rods.

While he was sitting on deck he saw a young boy at the beach fishing as well. After an hour or so the young boy had caught 4 fishes, he put them in a basket and walked away from the beach.

The next morning the same thing happened again: the rich man saw this young boy fishing and leaving after having four fishes in his basket. And in the following days it was no different. Sometimes it took 30 minutes sometimes more than an hour but each time after catching four fishes the boy left the beach, his basket in one hand and his fishing rod in the other. 

The rich man was utterly intrigued by this and decided to go ashore and have a chat with the boy. The following morning when the rich man met the boy he asked him why he every day only caught 4 fishes. The boy answered politely: I only need 4 fishes, one is for my mother, one for my father, one for my younger sister and one for myself. That's really good said the man, but why don't you catch more fishes so that you can sell them, and if you save your money you can buy a better rod and catch even more fishes to sell. Then if you have enough money you might be able to buy a boat and catch a lot of fishes. And then perhaps one day you will be as rich as I am and own a nice yacht as I do and he pointed proud to his yacht.

The boy looked at the rich man and said ok...and then? For a moment the rich man looked puzzled but answered: than you can sit on your boat like I do and fish in the morning.

Well, isn't that what i'm doing right now...? asked the boy and without waiting for the rich man's reply he took his basket and fishing rod and walked away.

Now I'm all for change and finding your potential... but there is something beautiful, humbling and wise in this story. The boy was clearly content with what he has and saw no need to gather more wealth just to do what he basically was doing already. 

jeandorff@googlemail.com
facebook.com/jean.dorff

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

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Will you be an observer or participant of life?

Dear...

Bob Proctor stated: "we are born with an equal amount of infinite potential". Do you also wonder why some people are successful and excel in their life and others aren't?  If you believe that people's successes are predefined by talent and circumstances this message might not be for you. If you think that Bob Proctor's statement has some truth then indulge me for a moment and read on.
Over the years a staggering amount of publications of successful  people in all kind of areas, sports, politics, business, science etc point into the same direction. The majority of these game changers were not born in ideal circumstances and many of them were not immediately showing evidence of remarkable talent. But they all had a couple of  things in common, they showed courage in the face of adversity and despite numerous setbacks they all kept a fire of passion burning in them. Most importantly they all learned the following truth: 'resistance either wins or strengthens'. Successful people only accept the latter, they are without exception participants of life instead of observers and that is by choice.

What will be your choice?

jeandorff@googlemail.com
facebook.com/jean.dorff

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD



PS.
And if you think age has something to do it with consider some the following successful people out of a long list: Colonel Sanders of KFC founded his company at the age 65 and became a millionaire,  Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin at the age of 47 and won a Nobel prize at the age of 65, Morgan Freeman became an acclaimed actor after the age of 52, Vincent van Gogh went only to arts school at the age of 27 and had his firs exposition at the age of 32.

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Welcome to acceptance, a lesson for dancers and non-dancers

Dear...

A long time ago, or may be I should say a really long time ago, my partner and I were competing at a small regional dance competition. We didn't use this three letter acronym at the time since this was before the time of mobile phones, but my partner said: "OMG... I forgot my dance shoes". Now the most untactful question I could ask at a moment likes that was: "Didn't you check before we left the house?". So the tone of our comp was set and we went both pretty tensed on the floor.

Now the point is not that we still won the comp and that the couple whom we borrowed the shoes from came in second.  The point is that we've put unnecessary pressure on our dancing by things we had in our own hands: first we were not well prepared, secondly I added useless tension to our communication. This created more competition stress than needed.

You can manage "competition stress" better if you:

• Take care of the things you can control: like being on time, nutrition, sleep, clothes, routine and communication.
• Accept the things you can't control: like the floor, light, temperature, the music and the adjudicators.

You wonder, dancing is not so much different from real life, is it?

Enjoy yours and others' dancing

jeandorff@googlemail.com
facebook.com/jean.dorff

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Love what you fear

Dear...

There are hundreds of quotes like: there is no rainbow without rain, no light without darkness, what goes up must come down etc etc... A world full of opposites.
When I was studying martial arts and dance I started to discover that our body and mind thrives on opposites. Opposites can create beauty and will create balance in our body and mind. I liked what I recently read from Neale Donald Walsch, he wrote: "The law of opposites gives us opportunities".

There is a big dance championship coming up in the Netherlands "Assen 2013". Preparing for such a competition requires both physical and mental preparation.  My students are well on their way to put an excellent performance on the floor. For some of them, as the competition draws closer, not only their excitement but their anxiety starts to grow as well. More than one expressed to me: My confidence starts to shake if I see how good my competitors are.  I told them: instead of looking away from your competitors, look at them and observe them well;  appreciate what your competitors put on the floor; know and admire their strengths and enjoy what you see.
Now I understand that feels counterintuitive, it feels like an 'opposite' reaction so to speak, but it comes from what my martial arts teacher taught me. He said your opponent is your opposite, he is just a reflection of yourself. Study him and know him well. But the most important lesson he gave me was: "Love your enemies and they cease to exist." In other words: When you love what you fear, your fear will disappear!


I wish all competitors a wonderful experience and competition.
jeandorff@mac.com

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

No means No

Dear...

I was one of those people that had a hard time to say no. I was a complete sucker if someone called me or was at the door to offer me something to buy. Best case scenario I wasted time listening to a sales story, worst case scenario I ended up buying something I didn't need. Now before you all start to call me or drive to my house to sell me something, note that I speak in the past tense. I learned my lesson after ending up op with too many useless subscriptions and stuff I really could do without.
I also found out that I was not the only one having a hard time to say no. People struggle with this in all kind of areas. You might be one of them. Maybe you buy things just because they are on sale or perhaps fried food is your soft spot. Perhaps you have a hard time to say no to your children when they ask for something or you just cannot throw away stuff and you end up renting extra storage space. Maybe you waste time being unproductive and procrastinate your time away. If you have one or more areas where no saying is challenging you, know then that you are not alone.
For me learning to say no and stop buying useless stuff had a huge impact on my overall spending. It was not a matter of not having the money, it was a matter of not having clear what was really important using my money for. Once saying no wasn't a problem anymore, my goals came in clear sight. Now, I politely but firm say no and hang up the phone or close the door when a salesperson brings me another good deal.
I want you to think about it from this perspective. We can spend our resources only once. Whether it is money, time, space, your body or energy. Once we really know and understand what is important in our life we will spend our resources only on things that truly do matter. Saying no to meaningless things no matter how good they seem will be easy from that point forward! So focus on what is important for you and your family. Learn to say no and make sure you mean it.
Steve Jobs said: "It's only by saying "no" that you can concentrate on what is important.


Contact me if you struggle in this area and I will share with you how you can change this too.

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD
jeandorff@mac.com

What are you still carrying?

Dear…

Some lessons are best taught by telling a story. This is one of my favorites.

Two monks were on a pilgrimage. One day, they came to a deep river with a strong current. At the river bank, a young woman sat weeping, because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his back. The members of their order were forbidden to touch or speak to a woman.

But the older monk picked up the woman and without a word  carried her across the river. He put her down on the other side and continued his journey in silence. The younger monk perplexed what just happened came after him, scolding him and berating him for breaking his vows. He continued on this way for a long time.

The day went by and the older monk asked his younger protege who barely was able to contain his discomfort: Is something on your mind? Without hiding his anger the younger monk said: “We are not permitted to touch a woman, how could you have carried her across the river?” – The older monk replied: “I only carried the woman across the river and left her hours ago at the bank, however, you seem to still be carrying her”.

Contact me if there is something that you are still carrying around.

“Be inspired and you shall inspire.” ~JD

The secret of growing without growing old

Dear...

All kids have the essential need to create, learn and explore new things. They are born with a natural great curiosity.
I define the word curiosity here as: 'the hunger to learn and the hunger to experience new things'. In which hunger isn't only a physical hunger but a mental one as well. It's unnecessary to teach a child to ask for food, it cries for it from the very first moment it left its mother's womb. Likewise my parents didn't have to teach me to explore the world around me. I knew how to do that instantaneously.
All infants are born without any inhibitions or conditioning. When they are hungry, they cry for food as loud as they can and when they start to explore, they do that without seeing any danger or limitations. Besides curiosity, we are also born with a strong urge to create. These two things together are essential to grow. Not only for a child growing up, it is also essential for all of us no matter where we are in our walks of life.
While most of us still feel creative and curious, most of us don't experience it as crucial anymore. And it is exactly that notion of essentiality that can make the difference for you. So If you still want to progress in life it is absolutely imperative to keep learning, keep exploring and keep creating. Because if you stop doing that you basically stop growing other than just growing old. George Bernhard Shaw captured this so well when he said: "We don't stop playing because we grow old we, grow old because we stop playing."
All successful people in any society or any field have a striking commonality, they all have an almost insatiable hunger to create, to learn and to explore and they very rarely feel old.


Let me know if you would like to see my take on one of your favorite quotes.

"Be inspired and you shall inspire" ~ JD

When the dance becomes all there is

The Creation of Dance

Most creations are captured and saved for many years.

As a writer captures a story in a book,

so captures a sculptor a statue in stone. 

As a musician captures a song by recording it, 

so captures a painter an image by painting it. 

Once these creations are captured you can read them, touch them, look at them or listen to them, if you wish over and over again, but they won’t change and are there to stay. 

But not a dance, this beautiful creation, this merge of body, shape and forms, rhythm and music, is not meant to be captured. 

It’s meant to set free, it’s meant to be consumed at the same time when it is created. It’s meant to appear and disappear in one moment. 

A dance lives for that moment and that moment only. A moment that plays all your senses as a dancer and as a spectator. 

A single moment that can trigger the deepest emotions and unleash the strongest passion. All facets of life come together in that one moment. 

In that one moment when the dancer becomes the dance, the dance is all there is and perhaps it is all there ever will be. 

Jean Dorff

March 2009

"Be inspired and you shall inspire" ~JD