Set your goals so high that you are scared of them.

Dear...

When you set your goals, set them high. Don't worry whether you can achieve them or not. In fact, set them so high that you know you can't achieve them. That is to say, the current You can't.

When people set their goals, too many people reason too much from who they are today, the means they posses today and the abilities they have today. It's much better to picture yourself in the future having attained your goals already and then reason back how you got to that point.

To achieve an ambitious goal, you have to change and become the person that can and will achieve it.  Your today You, will not be able to achieve it. But you can change and you have to change to reach what you want. In fact you will change no matter what. The question is, in what will you change?

So, set your goals high, so high that you are scared of them. Then make a plan to acquire the skills and to get the means you need. Finally, push your self outside your comfort zone and pursuit the changes that are necessary.

When you do all this you will see that you turn into that person that can achieve the highest set goals.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Perception is everything

Dear...

Everything is a matter of perception. This means that no one sees anything exactly the same way someone else does. Perception is influenced by an almost endless range of factors like culture, personal character, upbringing, religious background, etc. What in one culture is considered as delicious might be in another culture horrible to eat. What during one period in time is seen as modern and hip is a few years later old fashion.

As a young boy I was disgusted by the taste of olives, now I think they are one of the best things to eat. Time changes the way you perceive things. But things can also change in an instant. Can  you recall a situation where you at first had a different opinion but after knowing some new facts your views changed radically?

You cannot change the way someone else look at you,
but you can change the way you look at someone or something else. This insight gives you truly the ability to change just about anything you want. You don't see the world as it is, you see the world as you are. You see the world as unique as you are. By changing yourself, you can change the world.

Jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Home is now behind you the world is ahead.

Dear...

Tolkien is in my mind one of the great story tellers of all times. Big adventure stories with ordinary characters who do extraordinary things.

Yesterday it was the opening night of the second movie in the trilogy of the Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. This film continues the adventures of the title character Bilbo Baggins as he journeys with the Wizard Gandalf and thirteen Dwarves, led by Thorin Oakenshield on an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor.

When I read Tolkien's story as a boy, I was intrigued by the wonderful world created by J.R.R. Tolkien, the many different mythical creatures that live in it and the ongoing battle between good and evil. I was perhaps too young to have eye for the many intricacies and the hidden gems of wisdom of which Tolkien's stories are abundant with. For long, people believed that it was impossible to turn the Lord of the Ring and the Hobbit stories into feature films, at least not in such way that it would do right to the details, the complexity and the beauty of the stories.

Last night I have been to a double feature show to see a rerun of the first and the premiere of the second Hobbit movie. As he did with the Lord of the ring stories so did he with the Hobbit stories. Peter Jackson made the impossible possible. In his adaptations of  Tolkien's books he did more than just doing right to the stories. Peter Jackson brings them alive in more than a marvelous way.

Jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

It's A Wonderful Life...

Dear...

Today was Sunday, it is freezing outside and too slippery to go out; what better thing to do than to watch an old movie? With Christmas approaching you can't go wrong with "It's A Wonderful Life". A  movie directed by Frank Capra, with the unforgettable James Stewart and the beautiful Donna Reed in the leading roles.

George Bailey (James Stewart) tried his whole life to escape Bedford Falls, a small town community, but never succeeds. His sense of responsibility to take over his father's old job  keeps him from seeing the world and getting a college degree. When he seems to have found peace by staying in his hometown and starting a family with his high school love, an unexpected event drives him close to commit suicide. He believes that his life is worthless, with no meaning for others. An angel named Clarence saves George and shows him how the life of people would have been if George wouldn't have been in their lives. 

This old black and white movie delivers a very profound message. Life doesn't always fulfill the dreams we hope for, sometimes our destiny drives us to do things we might not like so much but can be very meaningful for others. 

If you follow my blog you know I'm all about chasing your dreams and living boldly, but I have to add that there is probably no higher calling than a life of serving others even if it's not the life you dreamed of.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

There is never nothing going on...

Dear...

A number of years ago I made my first business trip to India. After a 14 hour flight to New Delhi and a far from eventless ride from the airport to hotel, I was ready to crash in my hotel room. The front desk staff suggested however something more attractive, they said Mr. Dorff why don't you go to one of our spas, it will refresh you before you have to start your work tomorrow.

Now I can tell you how great the Ayurvedic massage was, with scented oils and meditative music in the background, but that is not the point of this story.
Part of the treatment package was to have a consult with an Ayurvedic astrologist. I'm not a believer of the influence of planets and the moon on our wellbeing, but I thought hey it is for free and it is after all ancient knowledge.

The astrologist started with asking me the date and time of my birth, he needed exact information in order for him to make accurate predictions. And although I didn't know my exact time of birth, he told me, to my surprise, not to worry since he had other ways to get it. For a moment I was puzzled and wondered how he would be able to retrieve my exact time of birth. I couldn't see a way unless he would call my mother. Seeing the impression on my face, he said: Jean, why do you think that the time of your birth is more significant than the time you walked into my office? This insight struck me like lightning.

The character Socrates in Dan Millman's book 'The Way of the Peaceful Warrior' said: "There are no ordinary moments". In my mind there is no more profound way to explaining the power of now than this quote. Being caught up with things that happened in our past or being occupied working with events still to happen, we often forget what's going on in our lives at the present time. Eckhart Tolle said: "Most humans are never fully present, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one."

Once you see that that there is only this moment, you will see that there is significance in every moment, as the astrologist in New Delhi did when I walked in his office.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

When great men die ...

Dear...

Nelson Mandela, a great man, died on December 5, 2013, 95 years after he was born on July 18, 1918. Nelson Mandela made history with his fight for freedom, equality, human rights and peace. He had to face the worst adversities before he became who he was.  Like Nelson Mandela, it seems that all great people have to go through numerous adversities to become the icon we know them by.  The life stories of these people are bigger than any fictional story and for me it is how they have overcome incredible hardships and tribulations that is most inspirational.

Nelson Mandela at first an advocate for armed resistance to apartheid, became after 27 years of imprisonment the first elected black president of South Africa and the fighter of human rights and peace. When you study great people like Mandela, you will find that it is their specific way of thinking that made them attain the impossible. They have an unshakable conviction that everything can be achieved if you stay focused and keep believing in your goals no matter what roadblocks you come across. Nelson Mandela said: "It always seems impossible until it's done".

A great man has died, but we can keep his mind alive by following his example that resilience, focus and unshakable belief in a good cause will overcome all adversities. It is people like Nelson Mandela who truly believe that we need to live with passion and that we are all destined for great things.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” ~ Nelson Mandela

Thank you Nelson Mandela, RIP....


jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

There is no such thing as luck...

Dear...

In his book 'Outliers' Malcolm Gladwell studied top performers in various fields. Luck was not mentioned by him once as a possible cause of the top performers success. According to Malcolm, the real difference between top performers and the rest, is the number of practice hours the top performers put in. In other words it is all about preparation that makes the difference.

The following Zen story illustrates perfectly what Seneca said about 2000 years ago: "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunities":
A dramatic ballad singer studied under a strict teacher who insisted that he rehearse day after day, month after month the same passage from the same song, without being permitted to go any further. Finally, overwhelmed by frustration and despair, the young man ran off to find another profession. One night, stopping at an inn, he stumbled upon a recitation contest. Having nothing to lose, he entered the competition and, of course, sang the one passage that he knew so well. When he had finished, the sponsor of the contest highly praised his performance. Despite the student's embarrassed objections, the sponsor refused to believe that he had just heard a beginner perform. "Tell me," the sponsor said, "who is your instructor? He must be a great master." The student later became known as the great performer Koshiji.

Often we see only the results of top performers. When people say: it seems that some people have more luck than others, they are right, it only 'seems' that way. Voltaire the 18th century french writer and philosopher said: "Chance is a word void of sense; nothing can exist without a cause". Bob Proctor explains in his freedom series that the cause of good results is a matter of preparation, dedication, focus and discipline. Both are saying that good results have very little to do with luck, it is the amount and quality of input or preperation that causes good results.

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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Two days in a life of almost 90 years...

Dear...

This morning I received a message that my 89 year old dad had to undergo an emergency operation. They operated on him for nearly four hours and placed two bypasses. He is now in intensive care and has to stay there for the next 48 hours. The doctors said if he will make it through these two days he has a good chance. Two days in a life of almost 90 years, that sounds like almost nothing. Two days is all we can think of right now, hoping and praying that dad is going to be okay.

A few days ago I wrote that you can never be fully prepared for life opportunities, that you have to go out of your comfort zone and that you should take them as they come. My post of yesterday was about the power of being thankful.

Today, we are not ready to let my dad go, we probably never will be, but he had a life to be proud of so we can accept it if his time has come. We are grateful for the life we had with him and for sure will be thankful if we'll get a few years more.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

The power of being thankful

Dear...

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I'm not a born American citizen but I love this holiday. It is not only about remembering the first pilgrims, it is about being thankful for what you have. I understand that you could be in a challenging situation in which it is may be hard to feel thankful for anything, but especially in those situations its spirit lifting to find something to hold on to.

A few years ago I went through one of my most challenging periods in my life. Being grateful was definitely not on top of my mind at the time. It was easier to be angry and to blame. I was worried and had fear for what the future would bring me and I suppressed grief and unbelief of the situation I was in.

I'm not saying that I used careful processed thoughts to find things in my life to be still thankful for, but the fact is I did and know now that it gave me strength to accept and change my circumstances.

On hindsight  I used a simple 5 steps process:

1. I made a list for the things I still could be thankful for (material and non material).
2. I made a habit finding each day at least one thing to be grateful for.
3. I focused on the things I could change and accepted the things I couldn't (at least not then).
4. I went over this list every night before going to bed.
5. I shared both griefs and gratefulness with someone I fully trusted. 

Now this sounds maybe too simple and even scilly, but I'm inviting you to try it if you are in a 'challenging' period yourself. 

Mary J. Lore writes in her book 'Managing thoughts and the power of thankfulness':

"Thankfulness is one of the quickest and most powerful ways to create a change in our circumstances and move us in a direction that serves our purpose. Being thankful raises individuals to a new level of consciousness. It gives us access to our highest awareness and our ability to see the myriad of possibilities, discover what we truly want, and create and realize a vision for the future."

I can only testify that in my darkest period of life, I found purpose and strength by being grateful for what I have. Does that mean I never feel pain anger or grief anymore? Of course it doesn't, but I can give these emotions a place now and am not dragged down by them. I found that there is great power in being thankful and I hope you can find that too when you need it.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Yes and No two so simple words...

Dear...

A few weeks ago I wrote something about saying NO and what a challenge it was for me in some situations. Especially to kids its difficult to say no, I have two children and when they look at me with those big shinny eyes, I know I fight a lost case... You wonder, do they have a special school where they teach them that stuff? Anyhow, since the reply "ask your mother" didn't work either, I had to learn how to say no to my kids too, even if I have to disappoint them once in a while. The fear to disappoint someone is probably the biggest reason why people are afraid to say no.

Obviously if you can't say no, you say YES, but it is unfortunately not a yes that you really mean. Because of this 'false' yes you might not only buy things that you don't need, but you might also end up making appointments or promises you didn't want to make. Because of this it's likely that you later make excuses to cancel earlier made commitments and the worst thing ... now you really did disappoint someone, the one thing that you tried to prevent by not saying NO.

Bottom line, people rather hear an honest NO than a false YES.

Paulo Coelho said it so well: "if you must say yes say it with an open heart, if you say no say it without fear".

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Blessings in disguise, a Zen story...

Dear...

Maybe,

Once upon the time there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically...
“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed...
“Maybe,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune...
“Maybe,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out...
“Maybe,” said the farmer.


Oscar Wilde said: "What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Can we ever see the whole picture...?

Dear...

If you look at a picture with a magnifying glass you will see that a picture is constructed out of many pixels. Each pixel is just a dot of color and may seem meaningless by itself but several pixels put together can create a shape and many more can create a picture. So even a little detail like a pixel is significant to create the whole.

Science is trying to find the smallest particle in the universe. After they found the cell, they found the atom and from the atom they went on to quarks. I'm not a scientist but the point is that we discover details in details. Scientist hope that by understanding the littlest particle we can solve big questions like how the universe came into existence.

Having an understanding of individual components is a good thing, but you cannot only analyze the details and look at the individual pixels. You also have to connect the dots, look at the whole picture and synthesize. But as science probably will never know if it truly found the 'smallest' detail, can we ever know if we truly look at the 'biggest' picture.

The described analogies are good learning and study principles. We should never assume that we know all the details and we should never assume that we fully comprehend the bigger picture. This will not only stimulate us to find out and research more, but it will also keep us humble and cause us to jump to conclusions too quickly.

One day I asked my martial artist master how much is there still left for me to learn? He answered me by saying: "...try to see knowledge as a big curtain. Your knowledge and skills make you able to lift that curtain up and allow you to see partly behind it. I as your master am able to lift the curtain up a little more and see a little more behind it, but the thing is we both don't know how big that curtain is."

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Life is a journey...

Dear...

From when I was seven years old, my parents took us every year to Spain for our summer vacations. Each year we made an 800 to 1000 miles trip from the Netherlands where I grew up to the land of paella and flamingo. Now you have the think about this... the roads were not so nice as they are now... we had no GPS... we had to travel through two different countries to get in Spain... we didn't speak any of the languages of the countries we went to; and there was very little information about the route to take or our journey's end; the trip in the car took us three nights and days. This was a big adventure every year.
My dad always said: our vacation starts the moment we close the door behind us and get in the car.  We never rushed during our travel to our destinations and when we stopped to rest, we took our time to look around, play, eat and explore. Sitting on the back seat of our car I enjoyed when we drove through endless new sceneries: mountains, lakes, farm land, cities, villages. We got to eat all these new foods from the places we went through and we met people from all over Europe.

This was way before I knew about the 19th century essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson and his famous quote: "Life is a journey not a destination". I learned from our summer vacations how much truth there is in this saying. It was all because my parents made sure that the journey was at least as enjoyable as our destination.

Life is exactly like that... enjoy every mile on the way to your destiny... and if you take a wrong turn do what my dad always said: enjoy the view.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

Attitude of gratitude

Dear...

A few days ago I wrote about Typhoon Haiyan and the Philippines. The casualty estimates of a few hundreds were hugely understated. As we know now the number of fatalities goes probably over the ten thousands and the number of people who lost their houses and possessions will most likely exceed a million, almost incomprehensible numbers. In a few hours the life of so many people have changed in a way that I cannot fathom. If their life or house were not shattered then at least the way they had envisioned their future is. I'm sure amidst those people some must have had the same kind of dreams you or I have. It is for sure that it will take a long time before the victims of Haiyan will return to a normal life.

So the post of today has no other meaning than asking you all to support the people of the Philippines in any way you can or want and to keep them in your prayers and thoughts. (see this FB page: https://www.facebook.com/haiyantacloban)
I for one learned from this events to have more gratitude for what I have and to not take life for granted.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

How to get more lucky

Dear....

Did you ever do a test at school without doing your homework, in the hope that you could wing it? I have to admit I did and to be completely honest more than once. There were a few times I got away with it, but luckily for me I flunked most of the tests I didn't prepare well for. Yes, you hear me well I said luckily. Of course that's not how I felt about it at the time, then I only cared about grades and didn't care so much about the correlation between preparation and succeeding or failing.
Later I learned that people with sustained success, prepared for success; although others would often call this luck.
Benjamin Franklin said: "by failing to prepare you are preparing to fail".
When you read this you probably think duh, that's so obvious. It is indeed obvious but that doesn't make it less true, does it?
Tony Robbins said: "the meeting of opportunity with preparation generates an offspring called luck".
Yes, preparations will allow you to successfully seize opportunities, but at the same time when you start preparing, opportunities will come your way as well. So like a blacksmith forge steel you can forge your luck. For steel to be forged, you have to have the right tools and heat the steel up to above 2000 degrees fahrenheit. Forging steel looks like brute force but if you see how a Japanese sword master forges a samurai sword, you know it is a delicate process which can only be achieved with the right knowledge, skills, tools and preparation. The master knows exactly how and when to hit the steel. In the same way, your luck can be forged: know what you are aiming for, prepare well for the results you want and then boldly, without being afraid of the heat, seize the opportunity when it occurs.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~ JD

When she came home she said: I'm in love with David.

Dear....

One day my partner in life came home from a trip to Italy she told me that she fell in love with a guy called David, she was quick to add that David was a statue made by Michelangelo.  When a few weeks later Bob Proctor in one of his audio lessons also raved about  this statue of David I had to see myself what so special was about this statue. Not long after, I had an opportunity to go to 'The Gallery of the Accedemia di Bella Arti' in Florence where David stands. He is 17 foot tall and astonishing ... he breaths majesty, perfection, nobility, power, dignity, all that and more in one sculpture. Truly if you see David you will fall in love with him, as my partner did and as I did.

There is more behind the story of the statue of David. After three failed attempts by renown sculptors to carve something out of this huge rock, it was 25 year old Michelangelo who in the year 1501 used his chisel and hammer to sculpture this beautiful piece of marvel.
But the real wonder for me lies in the fact that Michelangelo saw the beauty of David even before he started carving. He could reveal this beauty because he went on where others failed and because he looked beyond the abused surface of this slab of marble.

The lesson we can learn here is very clear: Instead of judging others and ourselves from the outside we should be like Michelangelo and see the beauty hidden inside each of us.

jeandorff@googlemail.com
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"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD

Love what you fear

Dear...

There are hundreds of quotes like: there is no rainbow without rain, no light without darkness, what goes up must come down etc etc... A world full of opposites.
When I was studying martial arts and dance I started to discover that our body and mind thrives on opposites. Opposites can create beauty and will create balance in our body and mind. I liked what I recently read from Neale Donald Walsch, he wrote: "The law of opposites gives us opportunities".

There is a big dance championship coming up in the Netherlands "Assen 2013". Preparing for such a competition requires both physical and mental preparation.  My students are well on their way to put an excellent performance on the floor. For some of them, as the competition draws closer, not only their excitement but their anxiety starts to grow as well. More than one expressed to me: My confidence starts to shake if I see how good my competitors are.  I told them: instead of looking away from your competitors, look at them and observe them well;  appreciate what your competitors put on the floor; know and admire their strengths and enjoy what you see.
Now I understand that feels counterintuitive, it feels like an 'opposite' reaction so to speak, but it comes from what my martial arts teacher taught me. He said your opponent is your opposite, he is just a reflection of yourself. Study him and know him well. But the most important lesson he gave me was: "Love your enemies and they cease to exist." In other words: When you love what you fear, your fear will disappear!


I wish all competitors a wonderful experience and competition.
jeandorff@mac.com

"Be inspired and you shall inspire." ~JD